What makes us human... Paranoid

par·a·noi·a

ˌperəˈnoiə/

noun

1. a mental condition characterized by delusions of persecution, unwarranted jealousy, or exaggerated self-importance, typically elaborated into an organized system. It may be an aspect of chronic personality disorder, of drug abuse, or of a serious condition such as schizophrenia in which the person loses touch with reality.

   synonyms:

   persecution complex, delusions, obsession, psychosis

     I am creating a series of photos that has to deal with emotions. The ones we feel on a daily basis, every once in a while and if you are lucky enough, ones that only some people experience.  I have suffered from depression, anxiety and panic attacks for years. I am obsessive compulsive and it drives me crazy but I am also a very happy and out going person.  I don't always see the glass being half full but I do sometimes and that's enough for me.  I know many people have it worse than I do and I truly am grateful for what I have.  I suffer from an emptiness of knowing I am not doing more with my life and chasing more dreams but I am also okay with it at the same time. It's a constant pull/battle in my mind.  

     I wanted to put together a series of photos that show a lot of emotions I feel and I'm sure many of you do!   What better way than to do it through art! I love surrealism and wanted to portray some of these photos in that way but also some more realistically.  I hope you enjoy the series. I got the idea when I was thinking about how each emotion is so individual and so complex that it's almost like another person/personality was showing through me during each panic attack or each time I was having trouble with my OCD and even when I was happy with my family or out on an adventure.  Life is tough but these feelings are what makes us human.  We feel so we can empathize or love or cry....

Anyways, I wanted to start with a darker one- I love creepy, dark, strange things and I got this idea when I took a photo of Chance on the couch and saw his shadow behind him.  

This photo is Paranoia.  

I know that I suffered from this in many different ways.  Thinking ex-boyfriends were cheating or that my co-workers may be talking about me... but also with my OCD.  It was like death was coming for me if I touched something that I didn't know what it was (like something spilled on a counter or something sticky on a chart) or that touching a handle on the door was going to make me very sick because of germs.  I work in the medical field which is not great for the type of person I am but it also has made me stronger.  This photos shows a darker side of my mind and how paranoia can really take over ones self.  The dogs are there because they help me get through a lot in life (as does my fiancee but he is out of town).  Enjoy guys! <3

Where the idea came from: 

BEFORE: 

Bear trying to eat the remote for the camera: 

FINAL PHOTO: