What Makes Us Human - Overwhelmed

o·ver·whelm

ˌōvərˈ(h)welm/

verb

past tense: overwhelmed; past participle: overwhelmed

1. bury or drown beneath a huge mass.

   "the water flowed through to overwhelm the whole dam and the village beneath"

   synonyms:

   swamp, submerge, engulf, bury, deluge, flood, inundate "advancing sand dunes could overwhelm the village"

   • defeat completely.

     "his teams overwhelmed their opponents"

     synonyms:

     defeat (utterly/heavily), trounce, rout, beat (hollow), conquer, vanquish,be victorious over, triumph over, worst, overcome, overthrow, crush;More

   • give too much of a thing to (someone); inundate.

     "they were overwhelmed by farewell messages"

     Hello There. New Photo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I seriously forced myself to do this. LIFE HAS BEEN INSANE. I WANT to take photos but .... it's been the last on my list for some time.  I hate it.  Things have been insanely busy... or ...maybe I am distracting myself from other things in my life.  My job offered me an advancement and then they took it away (due to the law and hearing aid dispensing licensing) but DO YOUR RESEARCH FIRST! It was awful.  I knew how much I COULD be making and how I'd have my own office.... It's been bad. I think I may drown myself in other things so that I can have some sort of control where other aspects of my life are whirling out of control.... 

     Anyways- this photo is suppose to represent the feeling of being overwhelmed.  I loved the colors of our tree outside and made Brian help me with the camera AND smoke bombs on Sunday.  We both smelled so awful afterwards and I immediately remembered why I hate working with smoke bombs SO MUCH! Plus, we live on a hill and we get wind like crazy so the smoke bomb would be going in the direction we needed, then all of a sudden it would go away from the camera.  It was a challenge, I had a small tantrum and I honestly thought I wasted a bunch of time gluing leaves to my face and hiding from the neighbors as they drove by.  I did force myself to edit it and try my best and I am really happy with the outcome! I HAVE TO STOP BEING SO HARD ON MYSELF.  

     I have not done a happy "what makes us human" photo yet but I will get there when I can truly feel the emotion I'm trying to convey.  This one I really was feeling at the time.  I hope you guys enjoy.  I think some friends and I are going to do another art show in a little over a year... I hope.  I will be doing the "What Makes Us Human" theme and I hope to use some other models in them as well.  I'd love to put together a book ... hmmm - Ideas rolling.

Life can be overwhelming a lot of the time I'm learning, but you just have to slow down. Force yourself to.  Force yourself to do something you love instead of sitting on it because of "other things going on." Trust me- if you make time, slow down and keep doing the things you love- life won't seem so overwhelming ;) 

<3 

Anywho- I hope you like this. 
Here are some outtakes and behing the scenes for your viewing laughter- I mean, pleasure. 

( I actually almost used the one above as the final photo- I just really liked it)

Yeah- DON'T HOLD SMOKE BOMBS IN YOUR HANDS- NOT SMART - Yes, I'm saying it's dangerous.

Thanks for reading <3

What Makes Us Human - Vulnerable

vul·ner·a·ble

ˈvəln(ə)rəb(ə)l/

adjective

1. susceptible to physical or emotional attack or harm.

   "we were in a vulnerable position"

   synonyms:

   helpless, defenseless, powerless, impotent, weak, susceptible "he was scared and vulnerable"

   • (of a person) in need of special care, support, or protection because of age, disability, or risk of abuse or neglect.

     "employees must be better trained in how to deal with vulnerable young people"

   
   

     

      So- I really wanted the next photo in the series to be a happier one but it is the end of 

my "staycation" and we did a ton of work around the house and I have been feeling so 

happy about it...until today.  After realizing I had to go back to work tomorrow, I felt very sad, depressed and, well, vulnerable.  These are the things that make us human- these feelings- and sometimes it makes me realize there are some major things I need to change in my life.  Have any of you ever felt that you couldn't move on from something? How did you? If you are reading this, feel free to leave a comment below.  

     I feel overwhelmed with work, wedding planning, new house things, my to do lists and then spending time on hobbies, friend and family (the fun stuff).  I don't feel a balance and it makes me feel vulnerable and sometimes it's a little much.  I really hope you enjoy the new photo- It was fun to do on my last day off for a while. 

The paper airplanes signify all of those things in life headed for me or away from me.  The things I have to let go and the things that I have to let in.  If you are feeling at all this way -  It's totally okay! This is life and it's important to understand that EVERYTHING will not always be in a perfect balance.  Let it in and let it go!

Some other of my favorites from today:

Some behind the scenes photos:

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          (below: before I worked with hues and saturation etc.)
   
   
   
   
   

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What makes us human... Paranoid

par·a·noi·a

ˌperəˈnoiə/

noun

1. a mental condition characterized by delusions of persecution, unwarranted jealousy, or exaggerated self-importance, typically elaborated into an organized system. It may be an aspect of chronic personality disorder, of drug abuse, or of a serious condition such as schizophrenia in which the person loses touch with reality.

   synonyms:

   persecution complex, delusions, obsession, psychosis

     I am creating a series of photos that has to deal with emotions. The ones we feel on a daily basis, every once in a while and if you are lucky enough, ones that only some people experience.  I have suffered from depression, anxiety and panic attacks for years. I am obsessive compulsive and it drives me crazy but I am also a very happy and out going person.  I don't always see the glass being half full but I do sometimes and that's enough for me.  I know many people have it worse than I do and I truly am grateful for what I have.  I suffer from an emptiness of knowing I am not doing more with my life and chasing more dreams but I am also okay with it at the same time. It's a constant pull/battle in my mind.  

     I wanted to put together a series of photos that show a lot of emotions I feel and I'm sure many of you do!   What better way than to do it through art! I love surrealism and wanted to portray some of these photos in that way but also some more realistically.  I hope you enjoy the series. I got the idea when I was thinking about how each emotion is so individual and so complex that it's almost like another person/personality was showing through me during each panic attack or each time I was having trouble with my OCD and even when I was happy with my family or out on an adventure.  Life is tough but these feelings are what makes us human.  We feel so we can empathize or love or cry....

Anyways, I wanted to start with a darker one- I love creepy, dark, strange things and I got this idea when I took a photo of Chance on the couch and saw his shadow behind him.  

This photo is Paranoia.  

I know that I suffered from this in many different ways.  Thinking ex-boyfriends were cheating or that my co-workers may be talking about me... but also with my OCD.  It was like death was coming for me if I touched something that I didn't know what it was (like something spilled on a counter or something sticky on a chart) or that touching a handle on the door was going to make me very sick because of germs.  I work in the medical field which is not great for the type of person I am but it also has made me stronger.  This photos shows a darker side of my mind and how paranoia can really take over ones self.  The dogs are there because they help me get through a lot in life (as does my fiancee but he is out of town).  Enjoy guys! <3

Where the idea came from: 

BEFORE: 

Bear trying to eat the remote for the camera: 

FINAL PHOTO: